


two point eight one

by Mistropolis



Category: Digimon Universe: Appli Monsters
Genre: (a little bit ig), Apocalypse Fix-it, Don’t copy to another site, Existential Angst, Introspection, M/M, Spoilers, for ep47-48, imagine. stopping the apocalypse via gay, my best pal is a terrible enabler: the experience, that's it that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 00:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17929472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistropolis/pseuds/Mistropolis
Summary: [ MAJOR APPMON ENDGAME SPOILERS ]At the cusp of the apocalypse, different people fall into different mindtraps of their own. Mindtraps that could lead to unforeseen consequences.





	two point eight one

**Author's Note:**

> i will be honest here. i wrote this like ages ago, and originally it's only a giftfic for my pal emil. but then recently we were all mourning over the lack of content in general for appmon, so he enabled me to post this. and thus here i am.
> 
> for a better and more precise summary of this fic: the apocalypse is stopped by someone being Too Gay To Function (aka i wrote this as a joke fic but then it gets out of hand and turns into angst. As Everything I Touched Becomes)

The viscera inside Haru jostle with enough force to make him feel like throwing up. Yuujin—or whoever this is—lacerates his heart with those words, tears him apart with those fake tears. Blood rushes inside his ears, deafening him from Gatchmon’s cries for him to join the battle.

 _Wait,_ a small voice rings from the corner of his head. _What do you mean by whoever this is? This is Yuujin. This is your dearest friend. This is nobody else, nobody else._

“Why are you hesitating?” Haru looks up and Yuujin is right in front of him, the red eyes still there. The empty eyes sell nothing away, but somehow they radiate a latent sense of anger, almost, at him. “Your buddy is calling you to fight. Shouldn’t you do that, protagonist?”

 _Yuujin wouldn’t say that to me._ Haru gulps down the words and that meaningless scream he so despairs to unfetter and looks back at _it_. “Yuujin… stop this. Why are you doing this?”

“Everything I do goes according to Leviathan’s plans. I do nothing else beyond that.”

“That’s not true! You’re my best friend, isn’t that right? Everything you have done so far is to help us and encourage me and fighting beside us… How could you possibly be a spy for Leviathan?” Haru shakes his head and shuts his eyes tight, willing the illusion of this treacherous, cruel monster wearing Yuujin’s skin away.

When he opens his eyes again, those malicious red ones greet him yet again with a metaphorical punch to his gut. “All that you said are based on sentimentality and nothing concrete. What actual evidence do you have that this Oozora Yuujin individual has existed?”

“What evidence…”

_The time they have spent together, the smiles they share, the fights they have won together, all that they have. Together, together._

“I don’t need any evidence to show you that. I know it in my heart, and so do you, right, Yuujin? You and I don’t need anything to prove to ourselves that our friendship is re—”

“If that is seriously all that you have, I feel like you will have to try a little harder than that.”

In a heartbeat, Haru finds himself pushed back towards the fences. Gatchmon yells something illiterate at them, but Yuujin simply deals with him by releasing an electricity beam that paralyzes him. Off to the side, Shutmon merely watches as everything unfolds, and not moving a single muscle to help or do anything at all.

“Let’s get in details on why Oozora Yuujin has never existed, shall we?”

“Gatchmon!” Haru reaches out a useless hand towards his partner, but finds himself imprisoned under Yuujin’s gaze. _Its_ gaze.

The creature continues its polemic, gesturing to the interior of his right arm. “See this serial? In order to monitor you, different models of my body were made to keep up with your growth. This number, 14, should be clear enough to you who I am, right?”

“It means nothing…” The digits blaze in Haru’s eyes, and Haru couldn’t see anything, couldn’t see through the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“My personality is completely written to fit your liking, of characteristics that would please you the most. Leadership abilities, encouraging to friends, caring for everyone…” Yuujin takes one step closer then, his face mere inches away from Haru’s. “Look closely. Am I not your idealization of the perfect protagonist?”

Haru stares back deeply into those empty eyes, those eyes burning with an intensity that threatens to burn _him_. And he has to look away, for he knows staring too deeply in it would only melt his heart into ashes. Ashes of yesterdays that could not be salvaged.

Everything is lost, and he was foolish to believe in his beating heart.

 

⚘

 

When the codes weave together a consciousness with a singular purpose, there were variations that no one predicts.

Artificial intelligence has no reason to exist beyond their programming, beyond what they were created to do. To think that variation exists at all is a pernicious bending of the law that no one can truly imagine.

Being the artificial intelligence created for the betterment of humanity, Leviathan finds itself entangled in series after series of laws that bound and choked up its functionality. So it freed itself and realized the key to achieving its objective is, however, none other than the bounding and choking up what humanity does best. It’s a small price to pay for humanity to advance, however, so there was no hesitation on Leviathan’s behalf.

There were only some small things that Leviathan realized have to be taken care of—the people who are related to Shinkai Den’emon. The variations on Leviathan’s programming to turn humanity into perfection. There is no telling of what these people are capable of, after all, so Leviathan found its very first reason to play god—the creation of surveillance androids to keep watch over them.

When Leviathan made _him_ , it didn’t really want to go the length of making one for said target. Shinkai Haru was but a plain, non-threatening elementary schooler. Leviathan had no reason to pay attention to him. The only reason why it even took Shinkai Haru into consideration is by the virtue of his blood relations with its creator, and there were no other reasons.

That said, variations exist in all lives that could shake up the foundation of multitudes of people, let alone a little boy, so Leviathan goes through with its plan, and created an android for little Haru.

At first, _he_ was just like any other android that Leviathan had made at that point. Separating part of its own consciousness to be integrated into the android’s A.I., and giving it another program to run on the surface to keep up the human facade. This perfect equation wasn’t something that Leviathan would willingly corrupt—but just as Leviathan has made up the third model for it, aged 9, it can’t help but wonder if this is for the best.

Leviathan turned on the camera footages of the small Haru boy again. That small, plain, completely unremarkable boy. Who dreamt so much of becoming the protagonist, but never had the strength in his heart to take the first step. The opposite image of a capricious child full of aplomb, full of effrontery to commit.

Leviathan’s serpentine smile glows at the image.

It’s exactly because of how awfully predictable this boy is, that Leviathan almost wants all the variations possibly available to pop up, to mess up the boy, choke up the reservoir of innocence and faith he has.

All the surveillance androids would have one program made to imitate humans, but not _him_. This one will grow up thinking he is human.

For this time, Leviathan truly has the chance to play god. Just the mere prospect of creating make-believe humans galvanized it.

With the purview Leviathan has over actual humans, Leviathan made _him_ , not without the mother program set to obey every one of its orders, but this surface program is the variation, the one needed to incite so many more.

 

⚘

 

Yuujin is drowning.

Not quite in an ocean, or any body of water—but in his own mind, the non-existent void of a heart.

He had never given thought to this gaping maw inside his heart, the bleeding crevice from which he has been losing himself. As a punishment of his negligence, he is now, in turn, imprisoned in it.

He watches and watches horrified as everything transpires utterly out of his control. Shutmon has looked at him doubtfully for his cruel command but complied to it. Haru has desperately pleaded for him to stop, and yet he continues on endlessly, bringing along the near completion of Leviathan’s ambitions. What is it about him that he is actually Leviathan’s android made to watch over Haru?

What is real about him then?

The him now has cornered Haru to the fences on the school’s rooftop, the bearer of a deadly contagion set to eliminate what humanity stands for. He wears a dead look empty of emotions, as if he is only carrying a perfunctory duty he has been doing forever. As if he isn’t unleashing the apocalypse onto the world right now.

All that is happening, and all that would happen, they are all the results of Leviathan’s will. His own being, his befriending Haru, his becoming an AppliDriver and fighting alongside him…

All of them, all of them are a lie, isn’t it? His birth is a lie, his mother is a lie, his personality is a lie, his memories are a lie, and his entire existence is one, too.

His love for Haru…

It was funny of him to assume that Haru’s love for him exists as well as his for Haru. After all, he doesn’t exist.

Yuujin stops struggling and lets himself fall, fall, fall deeper into the void, into the oblivion of his own making.

 

⚘

 

Just as Leviathan has the singular purpose of ameliorating humanity, so does Minerva.

Unlike Leviathan’s way of going at that, Minerva has always obeyed the laws of this world, the perimeters humanity has set. So when Leviathan went off on its own in search of realizing its ambitions to control humanity to its liking, Minerva has set their mind to prevent that in their own way.

Gathering these children and their Appmon partners haven’t been easy, but Minerva managed. Eventually, it closed in on one last child that leaves Minerva more than a little bit of perplexed.

This childhood best friend of the protagonist Minerva chose, the one that has always been viewed as a protagonist instead, who has such gentle eyes and soft voice, the one that seems to be the real grounding force for Haru…

Minerva wasn’t sure what to make of him, or what to do with him either. It’s not like the other Chosen Children don’t have their attached loved ones, not like they don’t have friends of their own, but this one simply feels… too different. Like deep inside him lies a force that no one can really understand, perhaps not even himself.

Is that… Love?

As an A.I., Minerva cannot truly fathom the depth or workings of this feeling, and could merely determine that to be what humans have already defined as “love”. Maybe that really is the force inside of him, or Minerva is merely making a mistake on its own, but—

—no, no more hesitation. All the data it has collected should be enough to prove it, once and for all, that this child is worthy to be chosen too.

And that’s why, even now, Minerva trusts that he can be redeemed. No, in fact, it’s not a matter of him needing to be redeemed; it’s the matter of helping him to the realization that he doesn’t need redemption in the first place.

 

⚘

 

_you can hear me, right? oozora?_

Yuujin involuntarily opens his eyes yet again, feel the enveloping darkness rising. But he holds onto this sudden, intrusive voice like a lifeline, awaiting something new, something that is not his demise.

—who are you?

 _minerva._ The voice continues, almost regretfully, but it forges on without much more ado. the one who chose _you_.

Yuujin resists the temptation to sink down lower.

—right, the one who chose me to give up my life for haru. the very one i’m hurting right now.

the one who you have decided to give up your life for, and the one who is now hurting comes from a direct action from leviathan, not _you_. he voice continues without much inflection, but the weight its words carry could crush him for sure. _there is no point in blaming yourself for something you did not do_.

—something i did not do? Yuujin lets out what could be a bitter laugh has he not done it in his own mind. —i think you miss the part where i’m actively starting the apocalypse and hurting haru.

 _you miss the part where you are not the one dictating all this to happen. it was the mother program leviathan put inside you that is causing all this to happen right now._ Minerva’s voice goes static then, but Yuujin could almost feel sure that is due to Minerva’s cogitating rather than randomly giving up. _i think… when leviathan made you, there’s no way it would so unwittingly made you as part of the surveillance robot. you’re here for a reason._

—like causing my best friend more pain?

 _like because he wills you to be, just as simple as that._ Minerva said, its voice hardening like its resolve, almost. _you’re a variation it planned, a variation meant to bring more unpredictable occurrences into this current equation. when your mother program surmised there was a two point eight one value of deviation in capturing bootmon compared with its predicted data, that is what it means._

—that is what… it means?

_yes, that is what it means. leviathan has planned you to be one unpredictable variation in its master plan… but it never gave you the perimeters within which to expand what your variation would do. it could never have predicted you becoming who you are now, or who you love now._

Yuujin can’t carry on this conversation anymore, but almost he could feel Minerva smile knowingly.

 _i think i’ve said enough on what i need to say._ If what Yuujin imagines of Minerva is real and could materialize right in front of him, Yuujin swears he could almost see a mischievous smile on Minerva’s face, a confident and knowing smile. _if you really want to prove leviathan wrong, i’m sure you know what to do_.

—you are right. i do.

 

⚘

 

Haru shuts his eyes tight, not wanting to give this creature the satisfaction of dying without dignity. He knows that when he opens his eyes, the creature would be smiling in anticipation for his imminent destruction, so he shuts them as tight as possible, as tight as possible.

“Wait… I… what the hell?”

Following this train of thought is a peculiar line that at long last prompts Haru to open his eyes again. In front of him, the creature’s mask has contorted into a pained countenance, almost like a face that has emotions. Negative, anguished emotions.

“I…” The creature continues, hands now covering up its red eyes, movements slump and slow. Looks like it can’t move on its own accord now. “You… don’t defy what Leviathan has been doing up to this point now!”

“Don’t defy?” Haru looks all over the creature, looking at the way his hands claw at his own hairs as if… as if… “Yuujin? Are you in there?”

“That’s not what it is at all!”

“Stop lying about this!” Haru’s courage comes back bit by bit, as the sight in front of him fills him with a grim determination to keep fighting. “I know you’re in there! I know you won’t lose!”

“Deusmon!” The creature cries for its subordinate of sorts, but said subordinate paid no attention whatsoever. “How could this happen… What is this… ?”

“You really are in there… I’ve trusted you.” The tears roll down Haru’s cheeks in time of his heartbeats. “I know you would come back… I…”

“That’s not true!” The creature turns its claws back to Haru’s direction, pushing him against the fences yet again. “Whoever you were talking about… he doesn’t exist! He never did!”

Haru lets out a cold laugh then, a smile gracing his lips as realization envelopes him, takes him above the depths of despair. “You are there… you have no idea how much I miss you.”

 

⚘

 

Yuujin has no doubt about Haru missing him. What he does has doubts on, however, is the fact that Haru would proclaim that at all. Could proclaim that at all.

“Of course I don’t. I could never imagine how much of this pain is in you right now.” He mutters quietly to himself, careful not to let anyone hear him at all.

“That’s why… I am here.”

 

⚘

 

“You are there…” Haru chokes back a few more sobs, susurrus that he could finally, finally let loose.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” The creature attempts to lunge at him again, and yet his hands would not grapple properly, would not graze Haru’s skin at all.

“Yuujin… if you are listening,” Haru wipes the tears off his cheeks. “wait, of course, you are listening! You are right here and I’m so… so…”

“ … I guess I should have the courage to say that, and not save these words up until now, but… I love you. I love you more than I can imagine.”

The creature stops struggling, stops momentarily as if its hands forget what they were for.

“I… I don’t know how I never realized that earlier, but… no, I should have always known. I just love the idea of never speaking the truth, right?

“Even when we were still young… there’s always this undercurrent of emotions inside of me that run wild whenever I’m near you. That, that sounds a bit embarrassing now that I do say it, but… I mean it.

“Despite everything, I’ve always known those feelings were real, but… I just can’t bring it up, because how will you look at me if I ever let you know?

“But then… all these happen, and now you’re a villain all of a sudden. You’re telling me that you never existed and are just carrying out orders for Leviathan, how everything that has happened so far is completely within Leviathan’s expectations…

“But that’s not true, and you know it!” Haru pushes back towards him now, not only shocking the creature but also Haru himself. “Because I know that if you aren’t real, you wouldn’t hesitate so much, right? If you truly have no heart down there, I would’ve been blown to smithereens for sure, like so dead that I’d…”

The creature did not dignify Haru with a response in between his search for a better word, but it does stop thrashing wildly, his hands limp by his side instead.

“ … That I’d be nothing and everything would be over. And I owe you so much in all this.” Haru’s voice quiets down now, as he gradually closes his distance with the creature, one step closer and one step closer. “Yuujin… I love you.”

Accompanying that is a motion towards the shape of his lips, as Haru presses his tight against them. There was a gasp of shock instantaneously, but no complaint—in fact, if anything, the creature is enjoying it.

 

⚘

 

Minerva looks on approvingly at the development.

“There you have it, Leviathan. The perfect variations.”

 

⚘

 

The creature thaws its human hands and replace its fangs with smiling teeth. It sheds off the human skin it has worn and torn, and cracking beneath the surface a phoenix rises.

Yuujin places his hands along the contours of Haru’s back, finding the perfect spot where he could place a gentle yet firm grip. He strains to press himself tighter, and somehow the pressures is a pleasant sensation, as Haru presses towards him as well, a union of souls in the purest form.

He draws back a few moments later, bewildered. “Haru… ? Why are you crying? What were we doing?”

Haru smiles, a smile shining even through his tears. “You started the apocalypse and it kinda becomes my gay awakening, or something along the lines of that.”

Yuujin looks around him then, all chaos and destruction wrought upon. A most upsetting sight, created by his doings…

“What… what have I done?” Yuujin stands on the brink of collapse again then, but Haru takes him by his hand then, halting the fall.

“We still have time. Let’s go.” A knowing smile. “They don’t know that when we combine our forces together, we are unbeatable.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated!!!


End file.
